Comments on: Eight is a difficult age

By: onechicklette

onechicklette — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 02:33:07 +0000

I don’t have kids but used to work with them so take this with a grain of salt. Two thoughts:

What’s dudelet’s bedtime? Have you tried making it a short interval later to see if that affects his waking time? If not, perhaps try this in fifteen minute intervals a few days at a time to see if there’s an impact.

Also, given his burgeoning independence, perhaps you could work with him to set his overall schedule. For example, ‘dudelet, if you plan to go to bed at xx, what time do you think you should brush your teeth?’ If he has a hand in setting the schedule, perhaps he will think it important enough to abide.

You parents are brave, all of you. Best wishes!

By: Dad Who Writes (Gabriel)

Dad Who Writes (Gabriel) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 18:29:25 +0000

We thought about it – and whilst I’m not comfortable with the term ‘gifted’, he’s undoubtably very bright – but the regular drama class he goes to probably fulfils a similar function in terms of pushing him to develop more ‘grown-up’ social skills that just aren’t catered for in a school environment.

By: Robin

Robin — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 17:54:02 +0000

ok, so I know this is a year old, but just read based on your update. My son is similar in that he has the self-esteem problem–where if he doesn’t do something right –mostly coping skills relating to others, and when he does goofy things in public that others don’t appreciate–when you correct him, he is starting to get mad at himself, tell us his brain doesn’ t work right, he’s the only bad kid in the class, etc. Very frustrating. We have put him in some Sat. morning “social skills” classes where he is learning about self-regulation (not reacting in a crazy way over little things, figuring out how to regulate yourself back to normal), teamwork, perspective taking, things like that. When we asked a specialist about the whole “perfectionism” issue, this guy told us we should look into some books on gifted kid–because that’s a big issue. The smarter the kids are, the more aware they are when they aren’t doing things right, and they get really upset about it…..maybe you have some skill-type programs where you live??

By: Shouting – an update of sorts | Dad Who Writes - Gabriel M. Clarke's blog

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 14:10:33 +0000

[...] of my more commented on posts (not that that this is saying much) is Eight is a difficult age, an agonised cri de couer about the whining (him) and yelling (us) that dudelet, then eight, was [...]

By: Dad Who Writes (Gabriel)

Dad Who Writes (Gabriel) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 14:36:22 +0000

I really should write another one! Yes, things have improved. There are still the outbursts of anger (from all of us!) but he’s learning to reflect and step back a bit. He’s nine now and there’s an increasingly level of understanding that his behaviour affects other people. He’s taking more responsibility for little things around the family as well – getting breakfast for himself if he’s up early or calming his little sister down if she throws a tantrum. It’s a hard job, though!

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:30:22 +0000

So, I have to ask… you wrote this post a year ago. Dudelet is now a year older. Has anything gotten better with his attitude, behavior, sleeping? I am trying to find physical outlets for my 8 yr old Darling to relieve his anger. I don’t want him to supress it, and disrespecting me or other members of our family (or our home, as he loves to slam doors, throw toys into the (moving) ceiling fan, etc. etc. etc.). I would love to know if you found some things, tricks, tools for Dudelet that you might pass on to the rest of us.

By: Jeanna Welch

Jeanna Welch — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 13:38:40 +0000

I do the exact same thing. I know when I get mad I would love to have a time out and surely need it. So I send him to his room and his sister to her room. They aren’t in time out as in they can’t play or read or whatever, just need to calm down and think about it. They usually regroup in 10-15 minutes and are ok. I did however have to do this for the whole night last week. Let’s just say they get along pretty good now because they were miserable and bored being alone. I have three children, one is 19 and she is just fine. Never had an issue out of her. What worked with her does not work with my son and does not work with my youngest. So I just keep trying different things. Find their currency is what I keep hearing from a child therapist. You have to know what is important to them. My son is money and video games. So instead of punishing him with them, I reward him with them like allowance. It seems to work. My youngest is still excited over stickers and stamps thank goodness.

By: Dad Who Writes (Gabriel)

Dad Who Writes (Gabriel) — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 13:31:48 +0000

I have a suspicion our five year old is going to be a fabulous manipulator. See my reply to Jeanna, though.

By: Dad Who Writes (Gabriel)

Dad Who Writes (Gabriel) — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 13:30:40 +0000

I really need to make a New Years Resolution to kick-start this blog again properly! The crying and wailing still kicks off but we’ve evolved a new tactic of sending him straight to his room to calm down. We don’t set a time limit and we don’t comment when he comes back down under his own steam. Seems to be working – this week!

By: Jeanna Welch

Jeanna Welch — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 13:24:09 +0000

I also have an 8 year old son that has become very short tempered and having outbursts of crying and screaming over the smallest of things. It’s very strange for me because he is the well mannered, well behaved, straight A, good child. I am aware that lack of sleep does contribute to his behavior issues. And honestly they have been few and far between until lately. After further discussion after the meltdown, I have learned that he is being picked on constantly, everyday, at school by one of his “friends”. That “friend” is getting other children to pick on him too. His self esteem has plummeted. He questions everything now. Is he good enough? Will he ever have a good job? Will he ever get married? Is he ever going to grow taller? Will he slim down when he does? And if so, will he be able to run faster? I laughed at some of the questions, but then noticed that he was seriously concerned about them…..at 8 years old! Times have changed, they are smarter and wiser beyond their years and that are still kids. They have no idea how to deal with all of this, then again many adults don’t either. I have no real answer here. We are working on appropriate responses to being angry. He’s not allowed to respond at school to this brat of a child that picks on him and he bottles it up. I have advised the teacher and she has noticed and is making changes. However, I know this kid and he is sneaky and manipulative, he will just do it behind the teacher’s back. I wish you good luck. I was happy to see I wasn’t the only parent of an 8 year old that was pulling my hair out.