Warning: Contains parenting. And sentiment. And a teeny bit of very un-Dad Who Writes-like slush.
Something which supermum and I noticed a while back (and continue to struggle with) is how a bad day with dudelet (nearly seven years old at this point) can overshadow all his many wonderful qualities, actions and general all-round fabulousness.
So, much to my surprise, I introduced a little positive thinking practice into our bedtime routine. The last thing we do before “lights out”* is for me to tell him three things he did during the day that I loved. I’ve set myself a few parameters
- No reference to anything bad that’s gone on, like particularly naughty behaviour
- No comparison with his little sister
- No use of something I’ve heard from supermum – they all have to be from actual, real, concrete interactions I’ve had with him.
On work days, this can be tricky. But I manage it. If I forget, he reminds me. Ands recently, he’s started asking me to add three things that I’ve done during the day that I think where pretty good or worthwhile (I’m paraphrasing). So I suppose he’s now reforming me a little.
Is it working? Who knows? I suspect all parenting techniques are essentially homoeopathic, if you see what I mean.
But at least we both remind each other that every day, he’s given several new reasons to love and value him so it’s probably doing some good somewhere.
*It’s actually “Lights turned down a bit” as dudelet often reads himself to sleep